Upside down laziness

Sunday was pretty much a mirror image of how my Sundays back home are.... lazy. Yup, it was a lazy Sunday. I guess I can't say that I didn't do anything though. My brother, One of his residence mates and I went shopping and picked up some of the essentials. My essentials being Tim Tams, probably the best biscuit/cookie I've ever had the pleasure of consuming. They should put warnings on the boxes to these things. Anything that warns people of the addiction that they are about to experience. I'm almost all out and feel that I have to take the tram back to the store to buy more. I fear my trip has been financially hindered by my Tim Tam addiction. Beaten by a cookie, how degrading. The next step will be to try and smuggle some back into Canada. That could prove troubling considering how much trouble it was just trying to get into the states without smuggling anything in.

I was lucky enough to experience Nigel's cooking last night. This Kiwi can cook! (I don't believe I've mentioned before that he is from New Zealand.) Put him up against an iron chef, and make the theme ingredient lamb and you got yourself a battle. He cooked up a feast just for 3 of us. I was put to shame. I thought I knew my way around a range, but he could have whipped up a meal fit for royalty before I could boil a pot of water. I was surprised enough at the fact that he even cooked for me. I'm no sure I have too many friends who would cook my little brother, or even my older brother just out of the kindness of their hearts. Only about 30 seconds ago I was informed that he is cooking supper for us once again. I'm starting to feel like a real big mooch at this point.

Today was laundry day. It was boring... plus it rained pretty heavily which only reinforced my thoughts of how Melbourne is a lot like Vancouver. I'm thinking I may have to cut loose and make my way to a hostel in the city within the next 2 days. I figure staying with my brother for a week is good enough and it's time for me to get on my adventurous ways. I seem to have gotten too comfortable too quickly around here. I get along with most everyone in the residence. In fact, last night the cute Norwegian girl made me watch Olympic handball with her and taught me as the game went along. Seems she played handball for 10 years and knows the game inside and out. We then got into some good conversation about education systems in other countries and how they compare to our own. I'm quite intimidated by her now. She's so smart and passes it off as nothing. I'm afraid I'm going to say something stupid and I'll no longer be worthy of chatting with her. I do take pride in the fact that she said I was one of the few people that was actually able to pronounce her name correctly. Too bad I can't spell it. It sounds like Ing-Vale. That is of course how you would say it, not spell it. Seems most people call her Ingrid because they can't remember her real name. What a trooper.

Hopefully I'll sleep easier tonight.... well as easy as someone sleeping on the floor of a shoebox can be.

Par-tay

The past couple of days have been pretty much a non-stop party.

Yesterday I got to watch my brother and his friends do their radio show on the campus radio station. It was fun to experience and kind of gave me an interest in the radio business. We'll see how long that actually lasts.

We then went to some pub not too far away from the University and just ended up getting a few drinks and some food. One of my Bro's friends suggested that we just grab some more alcohol and go back to campus and watch TV. Wow, it's like they are reading my mind sometimes. So the adventure began with trying to find a suitable bottle store which sold good stuff, plus a grocery store to buy some munchy type things. We gathered our materials and headed back to the common room at the University to watch some TV. It seemed that a lot of other people had the same idea. We had quite the party going on in the common room on Friday and it ended up being more fun then I had thought it would be. I was able to get a chance to talk with some of the other people that live in the same rez as my brother. I was lucky enough to talk with a very cute Norwegian girl for an hour or so, and in that time I still didn't catch her name. I've also met one of the nicest and most talkative person ever. His name is Derek and he always has a crazy story to tell or has 10 questions lined up to ask you. Silence is not an option with that man. He's pretty taken with the sport of fencing and went so far as to show me how the basics are done. An interesting sport it is. It got pretty late and Derek and I cleaned up the common room as everyone else went to bed. I didn't notice how much I actually had to drink until I had to get up and move. Good night over all.

Today was fantastic. My brother and his friends, John and Meg took me into the city to explore. I first got the experience a bit of the Queen Victoria Market. It was closing up shop for the day (it closes very early on Saturdays apparently) but it was a good enough taste that I feel that I have to go back another day and experience it fully. We then grabbed lunch and poked into every interesting shop as we aimlessly wandered from street side to street side. The guys wanted to see some viewing of a new art movie called "The Control Room". We worked our way up to the theatre that showed it and bought some tickets. We then had some time to blow before the movie so we walked down another street which is filled with restaurants from every country. A guy will stand outside each place and as you walk by they will talk to you to try and make you go in and eat. They'll offer things like discounted meals or even free dessert. It was nice to have someone who was talking to me on the street have something to offer me for once, instead of it being a bum just wanting any spare change. We then headed back to the theatre and watched the Control Room. The movie was spectacular. It's about the news network Al Jazeera (the Arab equivalent to CNN) and how they covered the Iraq war. It was much more worth the watch then anything Michael Moore could have done. After the movie had ended I had an elderly lady approach me and ask me if I was American (she must have heard me and John talking before the movie started) and asked me about my views on the movie and the points it makes. I had to disappoint her by explaining that I'm Canadian, but I still made my views heard.

Onward to the pub! We started a search for a friendly and not so busy pub to have a drink at. We found one which was down an alley way. I felt uneasy about this alley way stuff, but it seems it's quite a common thing in Melbourne. They aren't scary Alleys like we have back home, but instead have shops lined all the way down them. At the bar the bartender asked me where I was from. When I replied "Canada" her next question was "What's your hockey team?" I told her it was the flames and she told me she was a Canucks fan. We had a small chat about hockey until the bar got busy and I had to let her get back to work. Always nice to hear that the triumphs of hockey have reached all the way to the southern hemisphere. After some drinks we went in a desperate search for food which just ended up being a few slices of pizza. At this point I wanted to go home, but Meg insisted on showing me the Crown, which is apparently the biggest Casino in the southern Hemisphere and it's placed right by the Yarra river. It's an amazing building. It has a hotel, shops, restaurants and finally the casino all under one roof. It looks like it does quite well considering how busy it was in there. We then just walked along the river side until it was time to head back to the tram station to head home.

The highlight of the evening was finding a road called Batman Avenue. It's pronounced slightly differently then the super hero, but I thought it was very amusing. There is also a Batman park. We need more streets and parks named after super heroes. They'd be way easier to remember for directions. So far so good in Oz.

We interrupt this show to bring you a commercial with 2 guys in sumo suits selling cellphones

I have not witnessed more horrible TV then the jargon they play down here. It's not just limited to their programs, but the commercials too! I have no real way of explaining it either, so now you all will just think I'm crazy. I may seriously have to tape some of these shows and commercials just to bring them back and let everyone else witness the craziness that is Oz TV.

They have their own version of everything. Australian Idol, Australian who wants to be a millionaire, Australian The Price is right. Australian rules football (which is actually like a more violent version of Rugby). It's scary. They even have their own version of Mad TV or SNL called sketch house. It would probably be funny if I understood what the jokes were about. I just laugh when the studio audience does.

The next big thing they have down here is Hungry Jacks. It's Burger King just with the name changed. Even the logo is the same. Apparently somewhere in the middle of nowhere there is a burger king and he got to keep his name while Burger King had to change theirs. Hence you get Hungry Jacks. I laugh whenever I see a commercial for it, and pretty much drew a crowd when I was laughing at the Hungry Jacks sign I saw on a street corner. I think they take their fast food seriously out here.

I'm starting to miss my party crew already. It's just not the same without being called up by someone to go play pool, go clubbing or even just to drink the night away. It's harsh. I've been sober for 48 hours. There should be no excuse for that. My older bro is supposed to take me drinking tonight, Oz style. We'll see if I can keep up.

I'm still suffering from major jet lag. I stayed up as late as I could last night to ensure I'd get up at a reasonable time today, which I did, but I'm still here falling asleep at the keyboard and it's only 6:30pm. Damn you international date line.

Today was an easy day. I slept, watched TV and when my brother got off of class we had some food and did his dishes. Now I'm here waiting for him to grab me so we can go to the campus bar. I figure I'll stay here another 2 or 3 days then book it to a hostel. other then that, I still don't have any plans for what I'm doing out here.

Still Plagued by thoughts of Crystal. Damn cute women and their long term affects on me. Worse then drinking or drugs.

Not much else to comment on for not much happened today for me to comment about. I'll make it more interesting in the days to come.

Welcome to Oz, where the local time is tomorrow

After 17 hours spent in the air and a 6 hour layover in Los Angeles, I finally set foot in the southern hemisphere. I'm getting too far ahead of myself. You're going to read this from the beginning and you're going to like it.

The journey began at Calgary International airport when I waved goodbye to my parents and stepped through the frosted doors which reminded you that you were no longer on Canadian soil, but instead U.S. soil. Welcome to the beginning of a torture practice which we know as customs. It's kind of like a gross-out horror movie. The beginning isn't too bad, but you know they are saving the best of the worst for last.

My first leg of the journey was a 3 hour flight down to L.A. It was a very disappointing flight. The Stewards really didn't seem to give a rats ass. They show up once to do their little dance display which is supposed to teach us how to stay safe in an emergency, and if needed they'll take their sweet time grabbing you a drink. Thanks guys, nice hustle. I was even sitting with a guy who all he could do was complain about Air Canada and how they keep losing his luggage. That now placed the same fear on me. I next had a fun run in with an Air Canada agent after arriving in L.A. The captain said that anyone with connecting flights should inquire with the agent to see where it is we go. I placed the obvious question; "Do you know where the Qantas check-in is?" I got a smart ass reply "the international terminal." Well, I suppose the more correct question was "how do I get to the international terminal?" "Go down the escalator and walk for 5 minutes." OK, sounds easy enough. Next question: "Do I have to claim my luggage and re-check it at the Qantas desk?" Agent: "I don't know. If it doesn't show up on the luggage carousal then you know it's been taken to the international terminal already." Helpful once again. I found the escalator... or escalators I should say. There was two... both said baggage claim on them, but they ended up going to different floors. Well how am I supposed to know which one is the correct one? I chose the one which had the most people on it and started walking. I reached the end of the terminal without finding the luggage carousal for my flight. I suppose I followed the wrong herd of people. I decided to play the game of chance and found that I now have to go outside to get to the international terminal.

I reached the Qantas desk and was greeted with 100% better service than I was receiving with Air Canada. Perhaps a sign to come from these delightful Australians? The desk agent took one look at me and offered me an emergency row seat. I turned it down because the emergency row seats in the Air Canada flight were cramped and I opted for an aisle seat so I didn't have to bug anyone anytime I had to get up for the potty. Well, once I saw how large of a space the emergency row has, not only would I have had enough leg room and the ability to get up and not disturb anyone, but there was room left over to park a small car as well. Oops. Next time, I'm listening to the smart lady behind the desk. I then went through the 'death march' which is U.S. customs. They have a security guard per person in line, and none of them say a word. They just prod you when they want you to move forward. Instead of removing metal objects from your pockets, they just want you to remove everything. I was really lucky though, The guy in front of me and lady behind me both had their bags searched. I took this as a sign of good fortune and ran for the gate before they decided to search my bag and ask me stupid questions. I then waited 4 hours for my flight to begin boarding. Lesson learned, I hate LAX.

The flight was still terrific. The plane was outfitted with the seats that had TV screens built into the headrests in front so you could watch TV and Movies and even play some video games. What a time to be alive. My flight went something like this: Watched Hellboy, had supper, went to sleep. Woke up, watched The Punisher, went to sleep, woke up, had breakfast, watched cartoons, got off plane. I was actually surprised to find that I had slept well over half the flight time.

I arrived in Melbourne at about 8am this morning upset that it was now Wednesday and I had lost a day of my life... until I go back across the international date line. Customs was pretty easy, except for the guy who kept looking at my passport trying to figure out if the picture was actually of me. He had a good sense of humour about it though. Now was the moment of truth, did my bag make it or was it lost in the depths of LAX? I believe my bag was actually last to come out, so by this time I was quite worried. I actually spent the entire time picking up bags for little old ladies who kept asking me to grab what was in front of me. I did it for the first lady to be nice, then all the old ladies copied her and put me to work. I had a run in with the cute little sniffing beagle dog. He seemed to take some sort of an interest in my bag and the guard asked me if I had any fruits or vegetables packed. I got off without having to get searched. Now if it was a drug sniffing dog I'd probably be in custody just because the dog liked me. After getting my bags scanned by X-rays for the 4th time I was able to leave the airport and take in my first view of Melbourne.

I got myself on a bus which took me downtown where I got off and started to walk. I didn't stop to think about which direction to go in, or even think about what it was I was looking for. I just started walking. I found a small Internet cafe and checked my email, and sent a note off to my parents to let them know I'm alive and well. At this point I needed to find a way of wasting time until the afternoon. I was planning on staying with my brother while in Melbourne, but I needed to wait until he was done school for the day. This "time wasting" task was not easily accomplished while lugging around a 22kg bag on your back. I decided to track down the department of immigration and get my visa label placed in my passport. With only a simple address and my skill with maps I was able to track down the place in 30 minutes, probably less. The longest part was just walking there. My friends back home would be proud that my navigational skills are still working, even in foreign countries. I then headed off in a random direction again and just walked around looking at stores and buildings. When it was closing in on the time that my brother should be getting off of school, I hopped into a cab and headed off to the University of La Trobe. The cabbie was a really nice guy who took it upon himself to educate me about the big hole in the ozone layer, which happens to be almost right above Australia. I arrived at the University campus in one piece and all the more educated on skin cancer prevention. It did not take long to meet up with my bro and get a chance to meet some of his friends. By 4pm I'm beyond tired, but can't sleep for a bit or else my internal clock will be all messed up.

My upside down adventure was off to an interesting start.